10:1 Capybara Warfare

The capybara is a ruthless species without mercy or sense of honor. While the capybara is very clearly a regal creature, they also posses an acute sense of when they are losing a battle, and will do anything to assure their victory(Including self cannibalism... See: 8: What?!). This creature is responsible for some of the most gruesome battles to ever occur in the animal kingdom.

A capybara, surveying the battlefield.

Some might think the capybara to be a loose cannon, the truth is rather more simplistic. Though the capybara may have evolved a large brain from quantum mechanics and superb verbal reasoning skills; it has unfortunately still maintained a rather primal part of its genetic heritage.When anything, be it a butterfly or a bulldozer enters the capybara's territory an instinct to head-butt first, ask questions later takes hold. Suddenly the mysteries of the universe and solving world hunger are no more. Where logic lived, there becomes only bloodlust, and a white hot rage that may only be quenched by head-butting.

This instinct was developed long ago in the age of the dinosaurs, back when it was common for the capybara was forced to defend its homelands from the likes of Tyrannosaurus Rex and Diplodocus(See 11: Dinosaurs). Over millions of years small spine-like protrusions began to develop on the top of the skull, cleverly hidden by its silky fur. The capybara is able to flex it's head muscles and push these spikes forward with the equivalent pressure of a lions jaw(roughly 200,000,000 PSI).

In the water, it is often said that the capybara is slow and ungainly, making it easy prey for river and ocean dwelling predators. While this might have been the case in the early days of this species life, it is not anymore. In the early 1900s when the capybaras developed a system of currency (See 10:2 Capybara Economics), they began paying the apex predators of the water for protection.

Sharks and squids may have used to prey upon the capybara, but it is now common to see these mythical beasts being saddled by capybara, and ridden like toy ponies. This was found to be a great tactical advantage in The Great Mermaid war of 1920, in which nearly 13,000 capybaras lost their lives. This may seem like a high price to pay, but another mermaid has not been seen since, leading many scientists to believe they were completely wiped out.

With their ruthless traits, and passion for cranial battering, the capybara is adept at warfare, and ranks at one of the top predators in the animal kingdom…